Taking the Reins
“Catch the vigorous horse of your mind.” ~ Zen saying
I used to ride a wonderful horse named Sampari, or Sam for short. Sammy was an Arabian, which means that Sammy liked to bolt. If a bird startled him, or the wind blew, or a fly went by, he would react. He could go from stock still to galloping hell bent for Texas in approximately 1.2 seconds, with me on his back. For a novice equestrian, it was fear on steroids.
One day, however, when Sam was a millisecond from flipping the switch, I felt myself sink down into the saddle; the visceral sensation was becoming one with my horse. All of a sudden, Sammy became still. He didn’t bolt. For reasons I still cannot explain, I did not react to Sam; I responded.
This memory came to me recently in the wake of a tsunami of anxiety that arose around a Very Serious Concern. Sick of the anxiety and looking for respite, I picked up Eckhardt Tolle’s A New Earth and was reminded, once again, of the power of NOW, of being completely in the moment. “Now” is where we access our higher self and our wisdom. “Now” is where we are calm and responsive. “Now” is the antidote to anxiety.
There’s just one small problem: Being in the Now is HARD. It’s ridiculously hard, particularly when life is going sideways and things are getting real. That’s when the ego — our personality and thoughts — tends to start future-tripping, freaking out, wanting to be saved, and/or curling up in a ball. The ego tends to be reactive, rather than responsive. It’s reactive because it’s afraid that it’s out of control which, in fact, it frequently is.
It’s said that ego stands for “Edge God Out,” which is not a bad summation. Put very simply, we are both human (with an ego run by fear) and divine (with a soul connected to Spirit/God).
The ego is a lot like Sammy: its normal tendency is to take your mind for an out-of-control ride. But you have the power to shift this dynamic. You hold the reins. When you choose not to react but to breathe and sink into the Now, you give your wise, inner Self the reins. Your breath creates space, loosening the constriction of the fearful ego; from this more spacious place, direction, clarity and wisdom arise. You sink into peace. And from there, you can skillfully respond to the situation at hand.
The next time you feel your anxiety taking you for a ride, you can say, “Woah there, big fella.” You can say, “No.” You get to choose your thoughts. You get to choose to react, or respond.
Take a deep breath and come back to right NOW, to the moment. Be completely where you are and nowhere else. Put your feet on the floor and your hand on your heart. Breathe and sink down. You can handle this moment. This moment is always doable. This moment is, in fact, the only thing that exists, the only thing that matters.
Sinking down — connecting with breath and heart— is how you stay on top of this horse and not allow your fearful mind to gallop away with you. It’s a matter of living just this moment. It's deceptively simple. But remember: a 2,000- pound horse is controlled by a very light rein.
KATE INGRAM, MA, CSBC, is an intuitive counselor, life transitions coach, and award-winning author who doesn’t like being taken for a ride unless it’s in a convertible through the wine country. Find out more at kitsugicoaching.com or write kate@kintsugicoaching.com.
